What I Learned a Year After My Stroke and Open Heart Surgery
I won't bore you with all the details, but I believe you will find it valuable to know what I recall from the morning of my stroke.
The stroke occurred a week after I was home from the hospital after discovering I had endocarditis and a congestive heart defect.
Immediately after I woke up, I experienced a sharp, odd, excruciating pain on the left side of my head. It felt like a lightning bolt, and I yelled for my husband and daughter.
I don't recall all of what I was feeling or experiencing, but there was an odd sense of not being one within my body. Nothing seemed right when I began speaking to Jim and Kate–there was a disconnection between physicality and place.
The idea I was having a stroke was not even a remote thought in our minds.
Fifteen days later, I had Open Heart Surgery.
When it all began, and through the year, there were moments of fear, frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness. However, there were tremendous blessings and goodness.
First and Foremost, I have INSANE GRATITUDE for being here today, and my outcomes were not worse.
“Whether you believe you can do a thing
or not, you are right.”
A FEW LESSONS
Attitude: Having an attitude with a forward focus, possibility, and positivity is where the magnificence, beauty, and healing lie. Yes, there were days of confusion, frustration, and fear, but not defeat or negativity.
Reflection: As with anyone who experiences a closer-to-death moment, therein appears space to reflect on life values, the why of living, where to focus, and what else requires healing.
Patience - has never been one of my virtues. Still, I was allowed to practice being present and patient to heal and search for where to focus my time and attention.
Witness - I witnessed those suffering from severe strokes, brain injuries, and other illnesses firsthand. Many who suffer from a stroke can not walk, talk, read, or write and never are able again. Bearing witness deepens my desire to improve my skill to help others make radical changes in their lives for optimal health and living.
Family - As we hear over and over Family is Everything. Well, it is true, in my case. I am fortunate they were there for support and love through my entire experience.
“Our reward is in the effort and not in the result. A complete effort is a complete victory.”
Hard work - is an essential characteristic and skill many have lost. Dedication, putting in the time, perseverance, and high motivation make one's pursuit worth the challenges and defeats. Focused work in any endeavor, personal or professional, is mandatory for a fulfilling, healthy life.
Respect - This may not be a lesson but a request. Take the time to be respectful to others. We are so quick to judge (that would be me), but a little respect and compassion for our fellow humans can go a long way in helping one another have a better day.
Decide - To live in the problem/sickness/negativity or Be The Solution. Your actual decision is easy; the process and actions will take specific, intentional, thoughtful, and imperfect daily steps. It is a question I must remind myself of every day - am I BEING or DENYING?
Do I live in the problem, or will I be in the solution?
Carpe Diem - seize the day; enjoy the present.
It is all we have.
"Built For It"
My husband, Jim, says I was built for it - meaning when I was hit with a significant health hiccup, I was ready to handle it, tackle it, and live through it. There is no doubt that my diligence in optimizing nutrition and daily exercise contributed to saving my life.
My healing and recovery will continue for the remainder of my life. Healing mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is a continuation of life-extended learning and growth. I had a lot to process. It took over a year for me to be honest with myself and reflect on many aspects of my life, and I continue to do so.
There is always the choice and space to choose optimism and gratitude.
📷 - Heather M Webster Photography